Small Steps, Big Changes. 

       Welcome to my mental health blog, a warm space dedicated to nurturing self-healing, love, and growth. My journey has shown me how vital it is to care for our mental well-being, and I’m here to encourage you to embark on your own healing path. By sharing my personal experiences—both past and present—I hope to provide insights that inspire you to embrace your unique journey. It’s important to remember that we are never alone in our struggles. When we cultivate self-love and resilience, we not only uplift ourselves but also create a ripple effect of support for those around us who may be in need. Together, we can build a compassionate community, promoting understanding and awareness of mental health. I invite you to join me on this journey of growth and healing, as we learn from one another and lift each other up with love and encouragement.

DECEMBER 7, 2024

I want to share something from my heart. A while ago, we talked about me stopping my meds and seeking peace, and for a long time, my anxiety felt like it had lifted. But recently, this week, I noticed it creeping back in, and honestly, it feels like it’s returned with a vengeance. It’s like those old days when the anxiety would flare up, but now, I have new tools to cope, and those tools—thank God—are a real blessing. Still, I know that sometimes, the brain needs a little extra help, and that’s where medications can step in.

I thought I could do it all on my own, and I would’ve kept pushing through—because I can handle it. But I also know that the stress I carry, especially from work, can take a toll on my body and mind. I’m learning to embrace a healthier, more balanced life, and I realize now that sometimes, having the support of medication can help ease the anxiety and make those uncomfortable moments feel more manageable. And that’s okay.

Medications are a beautiful tool, not a weakness. They aren’t meant to be forever, but sometimes they give you just the push you need to heal and grow. If your doctor or therapist suggests something that could help, trust them. They’re here to guide you, and their wisdom is there for your well-being. I know medications can have side effects that may be tough, but I promise—if you stay patient and give it time—you’ll start to see the brighter days ahead.

Please know, you are not alone. We are all here for you. If you ever need someone to listen, they're there with an open heart. If you need guidance, encouragement, or a prayer, they got you. Just be open to help and trust the peocess. There are so many people who are so grateful that you’re here, that you’re fighting, and that you’re alive. So many professionals are dedicated to your healing and growth, and they want to see you thrive.

Please, keep going. Don’t give up. You matter so much more than you may realize, and there are people out there who look forward to seeing your beautiful face every day. You are loved. You are important. Keep fighting. You’ve got this.

I know the road can feel tough at times, and it’s easy to wonder if things will ever get better. But please remember: every step you take, no matter how small, is progress. You are stronger than you realize, and even on your hardest days, you are still moving forward. It’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to rest, and it’s okay to lean on others when you need it. Your journey is unique, and no matter how it unfolds, it’s full of strength, resilience, and so much love. Keep believing in yourself, even when it’s hard. You are worthy of peace, of joy, and of all the beautiful things life has to offer. Keep going—you are never alone on this path, and brighter days are ahead. You've got everything inside you to make it through, and we’re all cheering you on.

November 22, 2024

Unseen Torment

Shaking hands and sweaty palms. Trying so hard to keep calm.

 

Cloudy mind and foggy brain. Chest so tight, can’t bare the pain. You sit there thinking you’re going insane. 

 

Trembling thighs and shortness of breath. Some would say you feel like you’re close to death. 

 

Feelings of guilt, unsureness, and shame. Even when you know you’re not the one to blame. It’s just the devil playing a mind game. 

 

Repeating thoughts, can’t let it go. What’s true or false, it’s hard to know. 

 

Mimicking a heart attack, fighting so hard to make it back. Heart rhythms skip a beat, but until you can snap out of it, the symptoms just repeat.

 

 

 

November 10, 2024

I want to start by apologizing for being so quiet lately. I never intended to disappear, especially not for this long. The truth is, I've been focusing on finding and maintaining the peace I’ve been working so hard for.

Since I last posted, there’s been a big change: I made the decision to stop taking my anxiety medication. This wasn’t an easy choice, but it was one I’d been considering for some time. The medications no longer seemed to be helping as much as they once did. However, the decision to stop was also due to a change in my job, which meant I lost my insurance. Although I still had some medication left, I was nearing the point where I wouldn't be able to refill my prescription, and I wouldn’t qualify for new insurance for another 60 days. So, I ended up stopping cold turkey.

I want to emphasize that if you’re considering stopping any medication, it’s incredibly important to consult with a healthcare professional first. Discontinuing medication without proper guidance can lead to difficult side effects, and this is something I experienced firsthand. I had been on these anxiety meds for years, so stopping suddenly was extremely challenging. While I had enough of a supply to gradually taper off, I didn’t, and the effects were unbearable.

For two solid weeks, I felt absolutely miserable. There were days when I truly thought I couldn’t get through it. I was constantly nauseous, couldn’t eat, and woukd wake up feeling sick every morning. I constantly felt like I was going to pass out or throw up. It was the worst I’ve ever felt physically. As a trained medical professional, I knew stopping the medication could be rough, but the reality of it hit me much harder than I expected.

Despite how difficult that period was, I made it through. With the help of coping techniques I’ve developed over time, I was able to manage my emotions and anxiety in healthier ways. It’s been a little over a month since I stopped the meds, and honestly, I’ve never felt better. I was terrified the anxiety would come back stronger than ever, but while there were some difficult moments—like mood swings and anger (since my anxiety often turns into frustration)—I’m learning to navigate it. When I feel anxiety rising, I use the coping skills I’ve worked on, remind myself to be kind to myself, and it passes.

I want to stress that this is my personal experience, and I’m not suggesting anyone stop their medication without consulting their healthcare provider. For many people, medication is absolutely necessary, and there is nothing wrong with that. Medications are life-saving tools, and I have the utmost respect for them and the role they play in mental health.

I just wanted to share this update with you all. Life has its struggles, but every day is still a gift. Keep pushing forward and continue fighting for that inner peace, because once you find it, it’s yours to hold onto as long as you keep working at it. Dont't forget YOU MATTER. I'm rooting for you, always. 😘

 

 

OCTOBER 17, 2024

FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT MADE IT TO MY COPING PAGE YET, JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU SEE THIS MUCH NEEDED INFO:

Coping Techniques:

 

Reflecting on my experience with EMDR therapy, I recall the challenges I faced when my mind often felt overwhelmed. Completing sessions proved difficult, but along the way, I discovered valuable coping techniques that significantly changed my life. Each week, I observed tangible growth as I learned to navigate stress, anxiety, and uncomfortable situations more effectively. Mastering these techniques marked the beginning of my healing journey. By incorporating these strategies into my daily life, I found myself better equipped to manage emotional challenges, leading to profound personal development. Here are the key techniques that made a difference for me:

 

Mindful Breathing:

I independently decided to explore meditation and began with "A Guide to Meditation" on Netflix. This resource offers several guided meditations that effectively relaxed me and provided emotional comfort. One key technique I learned is mindful breathing, which helps reduce anxiety and focus the mind. To practice this, inhale deeply for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for six counts. I found this method particularly effective during moments of panic, as it significantly alleviated my anxiety.

 

Meditation & Mindfulness:

In addition to mindful breathing, incorporating various meditation techniques into your daily routine can enhance your overall well-being. One effective approach is mindfulness meditation, which encourages you to focus on the present moment without judgment. You can explore techniques such as guided imagery, where you visualize peaceful scenes to promote relaxation; body scans, which involve paying close attention to different parts of your body to release tension; or simply concentrating on your breath, observing its natural rhythm. Integrating these practices into your day can help cultivate a deeper sense of awareness and tranquility.

Positive Visualization:

Another technique I frequently employed is called positive visualization. This practice involves imagining a safe space or a calming scenario in vivid detail. Take the time to fully immerse yourself in this visualization—consider what you see around you, the sounds that fill the air, and the sensations you experience. By engaging your senses, you can create a profound sense of safety and tranquility, which can significantly reduce feelings of distress and anxiety.

 

Safe Person Visualization:

This technique involves visualizing an individual you deeply trust and feel safe with, such as a close friend, family member, or mentor. Take a moment to picture this person clearly in your mind—consider their facial expressions, the warmth of their smile, and the calming energy they radiate. Envision their presence surrounding you, offering unwavering support and reassurance. By focusing on this safe connection, you can evoke a sense of comfort and security, helping to ease feelings of distress during challenging times.

Journaling: 

This technique proved to be incredibly beneficial for me. I found that taking the time to write down my feelings led to a significant release of emotions. By expressing my thoughts—whether they pertained to my feelings, personal experiences, or any topics weighing on my mind—I was able to process my emotions more effectively and gain greater clarity. Additionally, you might consider writing letters to yourself or to others, even if you don’t intend to send them. This practice allows for an exploration of your feelings in a safe space, enabling deeper reflection and understanding.

 

Set Boundaries:

If you feel ready to embrace this technique, I strongly encourage you to do so. Learning to say no when necessary is a crucial skill that can significantly enhance your mental health. By establishing healthy boundaries, you protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed by obligations and expectations. This practice allows you to prioritize your own well-being, ensuring that you have the time and energy to focus on what truly matters to you. Setting these limits not only fosters self-respect but also creates a more balanced and fulfilling life.

 

           All of these techniques can be incredibly beneficial and incorporating them into your daily routine has the potential to transform your mindset, fostering a more positive outlook and enhancing mental clarity and calmness. I am pleased to share these practices because they have made a significant impact on my life, reshaping my perspective and providing me with the courage to pursue goals I once found daunting. I encourage you to give them a try; the experience is unlikely to be detrimental and is very likely to be transformative.

 

 

October 14, 2024


My favorite singer once said:

 

"Isn't it clear that you are only hurtin' yourself? You will never grow if you lose control over yourself (don't let go) If you don't get a hold of yourself, Then you will end up with no self.” - Jhene Aiko Sailing Not SellingIf you know this beautiful goddess, you know!


Wow, that really resonated with me.

 

As I listened to this song again recently, those words truly sank in. I felt inspired to share my thoughts on it, so here we go.


These lines offer a gentle yet powerful reminder about the importance of self-awareness and emotional health. They invite us to reflect on our actions and recognize the impact they can have on our well-being.

 

Self-reflection is so important. 

The opening question encourages us to consider how we might unintentionally cause ourselves pain. Many of us engage in habits or relationships that hinder our happiness, whether through negative self-talk, unhealthy connections, or self-sabotaging behaviors. Understanding that we have the power to either nurture or harm ourselves is a crucial step toward healing.

Self-reflection serves as a vital foundation for personal growth. By taking the time to examine our choices and their effects, we begin to identify patterns that may hold us back. This awareness allows us to break free from cycles of negativity and move toward healthier, more fulfilling decisions.

 

Losing control can be challenging..

The next part of the message emphasizes the need for self-control. Losing control can manifest in various ways, such as making impulsive choices, experiencing emotional outbursts, or relying too heavily on others for validation. These behaviors can distract us from our growth and lead to feelings of self-doubt.

To cultivate personal development, it’s important to learn how to manage our emotions and responses effectively. This doesn’t mean suppressing what we feel; rather, it involves embracing and processing our emotions in constructive ways. By practicing self-regulation, we build resilience, which helps us navigate life’s challenges without losing our sense of self.

 

So, head on the Journey Toward Self-Mastery.

The cautionary note about losing oneself if we don’t gain control is significant. In a world that often pressures us to conform, it’s easy to lose touch with who we truly are, leading to feelings of emptiness or confusion.

To prevent this, we can embark on a journey of self-mastery. This involves setting healthy boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and developing self-discipline. Engaging in activities that resonate with our values and passions helps us reconnect with our authentic selves, providing stability even amid external pressures.

 

Find Balance in Growth and Control.

These lines highlight the delicate balance between personal growth and self-control. Growth doesn’t require strict adherence to rules or the denial of our emotions; instead, it calls for a compassionate exploration of our feelings and responses. Embracing change while remaining true to our core values is essential for our development.

Practices like meditation, journaling, or therapy can support this journey. They foster greater awareness and provide tools to manage our emotions effectively. By nurturing a strong sense of self, we can form healthier relationships and engage meaningfully with the world around us.

 

Embrace the Path of Self-Discovery.

The wisdom in these lines serves as a compassionate reminder of the importance of self-awareness and control in our journeys. They encourage us to look honestly at our lives, recognize harmful patterns, and strive for balance.

By embracing self-reflection and cultivating emotional mastery, we create the foundation for a more authentic existence. This journey toward self-discovery requires kindness toward ourselves and commitment to growth, but the rewards—greater self-respect, emotional resilience, and meaningful connections—are truly invaluable.

As we reflect on these insights, let’s commit to understanding ourselves more deeply, gaining control over our actions, and growing into the individuals we aspire to be. In doing so, we can navigate our lives with compassion and purpose, steering toward a future rich in self-discovery and empowerment.

A Journey to Self-love and Compassion

October 5, 2024


          Self-love is a vital aspect of our well-being; it shapes how we view ourselves and how we treat those around us. Cultivating self-love is not just about feeling good; it's about nurturing a deep, compassionate relationship with yourself. It’s essential to take the time to explore what loving yourself truly means. Begin by being gentler with your inner dialogue. Care for your mind by choosing to focus on positive thoughts and reframing negative self-talk. Instead of criticizing yourself, start each day with affirmations of positivity and allow yourself the grace to rise above challenges.

 

          Being mindful of your emotions is crucial. Take moments to pause, breathe, and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Show yourself the kindness you would offer a dear friend. When you’re facing difficulties, try writing a letter to yourself. Pour your thoughts onto the page, expressing understanding and compassion for your struggles. Acknowledge your feelings and offer yourself comfort, reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel vulnerable.

Creating a list of affirmations can be a powerful tool in your self-love journey. Choose statements that uplift you, such as “I am worthy” or “It’s okay to make mistakes.” Make it a daily ritual to read these aloud; let their positive energy resonate within you.

 

          Journaling can also be incredibly effective for practicing self-love. Consider writing down what you appreciate about yourself, from your strengths and achievements to your favorite qualities. Reflect on moments of gratitude each day. This practice not only opens your heart but also encourages you to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion.

 

          Remember, it’s essential to refrain from self-criticism. Mistakes are a natural part of being human, and instead of berating yourself, focus on the lessons they bring. Shift your mindset from “I can’t do this” to “I am doing the best I can.” This small change can have a profound impact on your self-perception.

Identify what nourishes your spirit and make those activities a priority. Treat these moments as acts of self-compassion, creating rituals that you can engage in daily or weekly. Celebrate your progress along the way, recognizing that perfection is unattainable. Set realistic goals and embrace the journey.

 

          Lastly, remember that seeking support is always an option when things feel overwhelming. Find someone you trust and share your feelings with them. Sometimes, simply talking about your struggles can release pent-up emotions, allowing for a greater sense of compassion towards yourself. In this journey of self-love, be patient with yourself. Each step you take towards embracing who you are is a step towards a more compassionate and fulfilling life. You are deserving of love, both from yourself and from others. Embrace that truth and watch as it transforms your world.

September 30, 2024

          Most may not know, but I love to write free verse poems. I recently found a poem I wrote a while ago as a way to cope through journaling. It captures the deep sadness I often felt emotionally and physically throughout each passing day and the various emotions that came with it. I would like to share the insights I've gained from each line, illuminating the hidden wisdom I discovered by examining it from a different perspective. So, to start, here’s the poem for you to read:


Unseen Friend:

I think I’m happy when I’m really sad.

I feel that I’m anxious, but I’m really mad.

No emotions are felt, but yet, my body aches so bad.

I wake up feeling great most of the day,

but it doesn’t always seem to stay,

but I try to think positive

and push the negative thoughts away.

When I get home, I wish I could go straight to bed.

But I know my babies want attention,

and need to be bathed and fed.

Not having the energy to play with them

is something that I really dread.

Sometimes I begin to snap because of the angry emotions.

But I stop myself and think before I continue so I can

avoid unnecessary commotion.

All of this is the result of trauma;

Growing up around consistent drama.

No one is to blame; we only teach what we know.

But because of this, It's what pushes me to grow.

These terrible aches and feelings

will never be something my children will know.

 

With that in mind, my evolving mindset has encouraged me to reflect on my words with a more positive outlook and recognize the valuable lessons I've learned from my experiences. I want to share these insights with you as well. In every line of my poem, I’ve deliberately chosen positivity to inspire you and remind you that, no matter the circumstances, everything will ultimately be alright.

 

So, keep reading if you are looking for words of wisdom & encouragement because it begins here:

 

✨ It’s normal to have mixed emotions. It’s okay to experience ups and downs, so take time to acknowledge your feelings, whatever they are. This awareness allows me to embrace my true feelings, opening the door to healing and deeper understanding.

✨I now recognize that my anxiety is a sign that I care deeply, while my anger shows my strength and passion. Both emotions can guide me toward positive change and growth. Recognize that anxiety and anger are valid emotions. Take a moment to reflect on what’s causing these feelings, as understanding them can be the first step to finding peace.

✨Even when emotions seem absent, my body reminds me that I’m alive, which means there’s still hope for healing and brighter days ahead. Your body often holds onto stress and unexpressed emotions. Consider gentle activities like stretching, walking, or mindfulness exercises to release that tension and reconnect with your feelings.

✨Any time I feel good, it reminds me that joy can come back, and I can appreciate those feelings while trying to hold onto them longer. Celebrate those moments of happiness! It's perfectly natural for feelings to fluctuate. When the good feelings fade, remind yourself that they can return and that you have the strength to cope with the lows.

✨I make an effort to focus on the positive and let go of negative thoughts. This shows my strength and determination to create a more uplifting mindset. Positive thinking is a powerful tool, but it's okay to acknowledge negative thoughts too. Instead of pushing them away, try to observe them without judgment and let them pass; this can reduce their power over you.

✨The desire for rest reflects my need to recharge and take care of myself. Recognize that it’s okay to feel tired and overwhelmed after a long day. Prioritize self-care when you can—taking a short break, even just for a few minutes, can help recharge your energy.

✨I appreciate that my little ones are eager for my attention, reminding me of the joy and love they bring into my life. Your dedication to your children shows your love and commitment. Remember, it’s also essential to take care of yourself so you can be fully present for them. Small moments of self-care can make a big difference.

✨I recognize that my desire to play with my boys shows how much I care. While I may lack energy now, it motivates me to find ways to recharge so I can enjoy those joyful moments together. You’re doing your best, and it’s okay to have limits. Find low-energy activities you can enjoy together, like reading or simple crafts. This way, you can bond without overexerting yourself.

✨When I feel myself starting to snap due to anger, it’s a chance for me to pause and reflect. This awareness helps me recognize my emotions and find healthier ways to express them. Recognizing when you're about to react is a significant step. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to regroup. This pause can help you respond in a way that aligns with your values and intentions.

✨I’m proud of myself for taking a moment to pause and think before reacting. This self-control helps me maintain peace and fosters healthier interactions. This self-awareness is a powerful tool. By pausing to reflect, you are taking control of your emotions and preventing conflict, which is a huge accomplishment.

✨Understanding the roots of your feelings can be liberating. Acknowledge your past, but don’t let it define your future. You have the strength to heal and grow beyond those experiences.

✨Growing up in an environment filled with ongoing drama has taught me valuable lessons about empathy and resilience. It drives me to seek understanding and create a more positive environment for myself and others. Recognizing the impact of your upbringing is the first step toward breaking free from its influence. You have the power to create a new narrative for yourself and your children.

✨No one is to blame; we can only share what we’ve learned. This perspective allows for growth and understanding, encouraging us to seek new knowledge and improve ourselves. This insight allows for compassion—both for yourself and others. It’s a reminder that everyone is doing their best with the knowledge they have. Your journey is about learning and evolving.

✨My past experiences drive me to grow and become a better version of myself. It inspires me to learn and strive for positive change. Let your experiences fuel your growth. Each challenge you face is an opportunity to become stronger and more resilient. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and healing.


          By prioritizing your healing, you’re creating a brighter future for whoever matters to you. Your children, your spouse, your family and friends. Your strength and dedication will pave the way for their emotional well-being.
 
Just remember, you’re navigating a deeply intricate emotional landscape, and that takes immense courage. As you move through this process, it’s important to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Your feelings are entirely valid, and reaching out for support is a true sign of strength, not weakness. Remember, you are not alone on this journey; many others have faced similar struggles. Brighter days are ahead, and with each step you take, you’re moving closer to healing and hope.

The Power of Strength & Belief

       September 28, 2024

       Life can often feel like a relentless uphill battle. There are moments when you pour your heart and soul into your goals, yet still find yourself falling short. It's easy to lose hope and start doubting your abilities. You may even put on a brave face, pretending that everything is okay while feeling down inside.

       But in those challenging times, it’s essential to remember to just keep going. Faith is about believing in yourself, even when the path ahead is unclear. Consider the sun. It sets each day, but it also rises again, bringing with it a fresh start and new opportunities. Each new day is a reminder that you have the chance to shine, no matter what happened yesterday.

       With every dawn comes the potential for greatness. There’s so much you can achieve if you push through the doubts. The sky is the limit, so don’t sell yourself short. You have the power to conquer any mission, no matter how daunting it may seem. Remember, you were put on this earth for a reason. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in a cycle of gloom and despair. Instead, harness that inner strength and resilience. You have the capability to change the world in your own unique way.

       Ultimately, believing in yourself is crucial. If you don’t believe in your own potential, who will? So, when you’re feeling low, remind yourself of your worth and keep pushing forward. Don’t give up—great things often lie just beyond the horizon. Embrace each day with hope and determination, and you’ll discover that you can make it through anything.

Conquering Life's Toughest Challenges

I feel compelled to share my story, hoping it might shed light on experiences that others may find familiar. I know I suffered silently, and I know there are others out there who are standing in that same boat. I’m here to tell you that there will be breakthrough. I’m here to encourage you to keep going. Shits hard, but if you don’t keep going, how will you make it? Although there is love around you, no one got you like you got you. No one can save you but yourself. And always remember you are not alone. You are important and you were brought into this world for a reason. You are here because you have a purpose and you will remain here until that purpose is filled. So let’s get up and fight because you and your life are worth fighting for!

So many people don’t realize how much childhood trauma can impact you. It influences how your body develops and alters the chemicals in your brain. It's important for everyone to understand this, as it can explain why you might feel physically and mentally unwell, even when doctors can’t find a problem. This trauma can lead to persistent body aches, anger outbursts, and a general feeling of misery.

Let me explain a bit about this condition. Kids with complex trauma often have trouble recognizing, expressing, and managing their emotions. This can lead to a limited ability to describe their feelings as adults. They might handle stress in unhealthy ways, which can cause serious issues like depression, anxiety, or anger. Their body and brain develop differently because of this trauma, making it hard for them to cope with stress. For example, my brain would go into "fight or flight" mode at the slightest hint of danger, even when there wasn’t any. For me, trying to remember things about my father would trigger this response, making me shut down and unable to think or focus. It’s important to be aware of what’s happening in your mind and body and to seek help when you need it.

I didn’t realize how much I was sabotaging myself and how angry and miserable I was until I had my first child. I saw how poorly I handled situations and the angry tone I used in my voice because of the constant anger I felt. I was always sad, angry, or upset, and letting my child see me like that almost all the time wasn’t fair. Everything irritated and triggered me. I didn’t have enough love, support, or guidance growing up, so I knew I needed to change myself to be better for my son. I was determined not to let him grow up without love, support, guidance, or anything else that I can provide for him. These things are mandatory!

I went to countless therapists, but none were able to help, which was incredibly discouraging. After years of trying and seeing no results, I nearly gave up. Some therapists even judged me, and while they didn’t say it outright, their comments and expressions made it clear. Despite this, I still wanted to get better, so I kept trying. Many therapists just suggested I see a psychiatrist and take medication for a supposed chemical imbalance. I believed them and took the meds, thinking that would solve everything.

The medication helped a bit, but I was still constantly angry, my heart always aching, and filled with insecurity, doubt, and anxiety. One day, I woke up overwhelmed with thoughts about how my anger affected my family and how I struggled to cope with stress despite being busy. I realized my baby was seeing me angry all the time, and how my insecurities were affecting my husband, making me doubt him even though I knew my mind was just playing tricks. The trauma was overpowering me, and even though I saw what I was doing, I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know how to control my emotions—they were taking over. Finally, I had a big realization.

On my first day at a new job, I felt overwhelmed during lunch, thinking about my family. I called my husband and expressed my feelings, breaking down in tears. He reassured me that everything would be okay. I shared everything with him, including how painful it was to think about how I had been treating them and not providing emotional balance for my child due to my own mental health struggles. I knew I couldn’t let them see me like this any longer. Not to mention I just had my second child 6 months prior.

But then, by the beautiful Grace of God, I found her. I found a therapist who introduced me to EMDR therapy, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It helps people work through trauma to reduce distress and improve emotional well-being. According to my therapist, when you experience trauma as a child, it gets stored in a part of the brain that hasn’t processed it properly. As you grow older, this unprocessed trauma can affect your feelings, emotions, and relationships. EMDR helps process these difficult memories by moving them back into the brain’s normal memory system. While it can be tough and bring up strong emotions, it has been very effective for me. However, because my brain often shuts down when dealing with painful memories, we sometimes had to pause during sessions or even stop and continue at the next scheduled session. Despite these challenges, we explored various coping strategies, and my therapist helped me understand my brain’s responses and taught me how to manage stress and handle tough situations.

My journey was long. While many people complete EMDR therapy in just 3 to 4 months, I continued for a whole year because of all the shut downs my brain would face. But I knew this therapist was helping me. I felt a real difference in my life and began to handle stress better and face situations that once made me panic. Though I still had work to do, I finally saw a way forward. She truly changed my life.

Today, I have two beautiful boys. I promise to love them properly, speak to them with kindness, and treat them better than I was treated. I’ve vowed to keep growing and improving for their sake. When you recognize your own worth and purpose, it becomes clear that you belong here. We need you.

It’s crucial to remember that there is always hope and support available for those struggling with mental health issues. Help is accessible through professional counseling, support groups, and trusted individuals. If you or someone you know is having a hard time, don’t hesitate to seek help. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can lead to significant healing and growth. Let’s work together to create a community where mental health is openly discussed and treated with compassion!